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I Wear a Scarlet Letter
By Kevin George
If you’ve read the book, “The Scarlet Letter”, you’ll remember that Hester Prynne is led from prison with her infant daughter in her arms with a scarlet “A” on her chest signifying her crime. She was paraded through the streets, thus beginning her life of shame. While I’ve never been paraded through the streets, I’ve lived in personal shame resulting in secrecy. I’m not sure how the Church would judge me or treat me because I simply haven’t taken the chance . . . until today. You see, I wear a scarlet letter. Actually, three letters: HIV. In 1998, I received the devastating report from the National Institutes of Health that I was HIV positive. I’ve hidden my disease for good reason. I’ve spent the past 25 years listening to all the comments made by well-meaning Christians regarding the AIDS crisis, and other hot topics. The Church is guilty of perpetuating a social stigma of great judgment against those with HIV/AIDS, and yes, I am guilty of pre-judging how the church will respond to me. I haven’t given the Church a chance to respond in a loving way. I’ve been jaded. I’ve stereotyped the Church in the same way that the Church has stereotyped me. But I simply can’t keep the secret any longer. I don’t want to keep my secret because there is simply too much at stake.
Quite frankly, I’m lonely. Even though I’m married to the most wonderful woman in the world, and I have two beautiful young adult daughters, they can’t fill my need for relationships. This secret that I’ve carried has created a wall between me and the outside world – most specifically, the Church. I don’t trust you. I can’t share the real me with you. Therefore, we can’t truly have relationships or friendships. And, I’m not the only one. This is repeated over and over again across America, and around the world. Loneliness. Isolation. Rejection. Someone must come forward with their story, and bring awareness to the Church of the emotional pain of HIV/AIDS. I’ve decided that I’m willing to be that person. I may become a scapegoat, a whipping boy. But someone must do it. It is only through honesty that this battle can be won. I’m “Driven by Eternity” now. No longer driven by my shame and fear, I’m ready to launch out into the deep. I’m ready to take on the challenges of changing the view of the Church regarding HIV/AIDS. I’m ready to be a voice. I kept my secret for ten years to protect my reputation due to the fear of rejection by the Church to which I have given my life. Now, I am ready to face that fear, share my story, and do my part to alleviate the suffering of those with HIV/AIDS. So, what can I do?
1) I love to write and have embarked upon writing articles, a blog, and even a book.
2) I love to speak and am making myself available to tell my story, and bring awareness wherever I’m invited.
3) I love international travel, and my wife and I are planning our first trip overseas as HIV/AIDS advocates.
What can you do?
1) Start a ministry/outreach for those affected by HIV/AIDS.
2) Educate yourself and others on the subject of HIV/AIDS.
3) Start a network of churches in your area that have a desire to work with those affected by HIV/AIDS.
The chance is great that you know someone who is carrying the secret of HIV/AIDS. Someone in your church is HIV positive, or at least they are affected by the virus. Is it safe for them to reveal the secret? Or do they live with loneliness, isolation and rejection? You can change that. You can be a light in darkness. You can offer your love and compassion to someone who is hurting – today. Don’t wait for someone else to do it. Don’t wait until you know more. Don’t wait until you are better equipped. You are able to love today. |