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Ask A Question
with Elizabeth Styffe, R.N., M.N., director, Saddleback Church's HIV/AIDS Initiative, and guests
Q -What is the most comforting thing I can say to someone who has HIV?
A: “Really, if I was really honest, the most comforting thing is when people don’t say anything. When they are just normal and treat me with comfort and kindness and respect and they just act normal.” John Forbes, founder, Agape Inc. International
Have a question? E-mail Elizabeth: hiv@saddleback.com
More Questions and Answers:
Q: Should I be tested for HIV?
A HIV test is the only way to know if you have HIV. If there has been sexual contact with even one person who is HIV positive, if you are unsure of the fidelity of your partner, have used needles shared by others or received a blood transfusion in a country other than the US, being tested for HIV is very important. Even if you do not think you are at risk for being HIV positive, being tested is the only way to know for sure if you are positive or negative. Many states are offering the test to pregnant woman routinely as well. Churches are increasingly offering testing.
Recommended resources: HIV 301: Medical Advances on the Horizon, Let's Go: How to Start an HIV Ministry in Your Church & www.HIVtest.org
Q: I want to adopt a child who has AIDS. Is this wise?
A. Adopting a child is a marvelous adventure! Children who are HIV positive have unique and critical needs, but my general message is:
Yes! Consider adopting a child who is HIV positive! While I would never want to minimize the challenges with any adoption, or of adopting a child with an illness that is life threatening if it goes untreated, most people falsely assume that adopting an HIV positive child is a death sentence, or potentially unthinkable and dangerous. Children with HIV or AIDS have the real hope of a normal lifespan with the use of appropriate medications that are taken with strict consistency and are now considered to be children with a chronic disease….something that can be managed over a normal lifespan. The need for medications and the very strict adherence to the medication schedule is essential and does have implications for any family. But the normal expectations for a HIV positive child include seeing a physician only a few times a year, taking medication once or twice a day. The psychosocial implications can be tremendous, as stigma remains a critical concern for anyone who is positive, and each parent must navigate through the decision of when to explain the virus to the child and to others. Count us in as offering continuing support and loving help as make these important decisions.
Q: Is HIV/AIDS a real problem anymore in the United States?
A: Yes, HIV/AIDS is a serious problem in the United States. Of the 1 million people infected in the United States, it is estimated that there were 40,000 new infections last year. Of those 40,000 new infections, half were among those 25 years old and younger. The prevalence among women is increasing at alarming rates. The numbers nationwide are going up, not down. HIV in the United States is a concern for every church. Q: I’ve heard about the HIV/AIDS Youth Summit, but I’m not sure about sending my teenager to a meeting about AIDS. Is this really an appropriate topic for youth?
A: As a mother of four – including two teenagers – I appreciate and understand your concern. Talking about AIDS can be difficult, particularly because it means talking about sexuality, IV drug use, and God’s design for our lives. At the Summit, we won’t just be talking about AIDS; we’ll be challenging students to protect themselves from the virus and to extend care and compassion to the 36 to 40 million who are infected with HIV today.
The reality is that in today’s world, AIDS isn’t a topic that we as Christians can ignore. One of my friends says, “HIV is not a cause; it’s an emergency.” Today 14,000 people became infected and 8,000 died. In 2006 almost 3 million people died from complications of the disease. I’m so excited as I watch our children’s generation, though. They are eager to make a difference in the world – to show Jesus’ love in practical ways. There is no more better place to do that than in the AIDS pandemic through the church. God has commanded us to care. As a mom, I must open my students’ eyes to the suffering that requires action.
For the HIV/AIDS Youth Summit we’ve enlisted a group of speakers who will speak frankly, but they also will speak out of hearts full of love for Christ and love for people. I believe your students – and my students – will be challenged and inspired to take God’s Great Commission and Great Commandment seriously. If you want your children to learn to love God and love others more deeply, join me in making sure your students attend the HIV/AIDS Youth Summit on Dec. 1 Q: I attended last year’s Global Summit on AIDS and the Church. How will this year’s Summit be different?
A: This year will be like no other. There will be an emphasis on interaction, on sharing best practices, and on convening together to change the world. There will be several tracks so that whether you’re an expert in HIV or just a beginner, you can choose the track that’s right for you. You will be able to share what you’re doing already, or learn from the best what they’re doing and how. This will be an event that’s not just inspiring, but practical. There are several new features which will be tailor-made for your interests. For the first time ever, we’re offering six pre-Summit sessions. They will focus on Orphans, HIV in Resource-limited Settings, HIV in Russia, Accessing Government Resources, Justice Issues and HIV, and HIV in the United States. The emphasis on orphans this year will be especially important. More and more people will be attending who realize that you can’t care about HIV while not caring about orphans, and you can’t care about orphans while not caring about HIV. If that wasn’t enough, on Nov. 30, in honor of World AIDS Day on Dec. 1, we’re holding a special concert featuring some amazing artists. On World AIDS Day, we will host our first Youth Summit, designed just for students and their leaders. We’ve hosted this Global Summit on AIDS and the Church for several years. It now is the place to be, whether you’re a pastor, healthcare professional, person living with HIV, government official, or person just interested in knowing more. Can’t wait to see you there. Q: What about condoms?
A: We believe in life and in actions that promote life and prevent HIV. God cares deeply for every person he has ever made, and he wants to establish a relationship with them. Condoms, used in appropriate settings, play a role in slowing the spread of HIV/AIDS, thus preserving life. We believe that the Bible teaches that sex before marriage and/or outside of marriage is not in his plan for human beings. We are also cognizant that not everyone in the world follows his best plans. We also believe that in a marriage relationship, condoms may be necessary as one partner may be positive and the other is not. Even when both partners are HIV positive, condom protection or abstinence is necessary so that a different strain of HIV is not transmitted. Properly used condoms would be the strong recommendation for sexual activity in this situation, and still may fail and thus not be risk free. Correct, consistent condom usage, particularly in high risk groups, can reduce the spread of HIV. Research has shown that if they are used correctly (not as easy as it sounds) and consistently (every time a person has sex with a person whose HIV status is unknown), they are approximately 85 to 95 percent effective in preventing transmission of the HIV virus. The key is “correctly and consistently.” Studies have shown that condoms used in anal intercourse fail more often than in vaginal intercourse, either through incorrect application, or through breaking and spillage. While condoms are easily accessible in the United States, it is reported that the average African man will see no more than 5 or 6 condoms in his life. The solution to the AIDS pandemic is not to “condomize” the world. Besides giving a false sense of security to the user, they have a limited shelf-life due to heat, poor manufacturing, etc., and they require a man’s cooperation. But the main reason not to depend on condoms as the ultimate solution is because of the possibility of behavior change. Supplying condoms indiscriminately does not promote the positive behavior changes that only the church has the moral authority to suggest. AIDS is nearly a 100 percent behaviorally-driven illness; we know how it is spread and we know how to prevent it, and while condoms have a place in prevention, we believe a more biblical approach is to encourage sexual purity before marriage and mutual faithfulness in marriage afterwards.
 This Q&A was reprinted from HIV/AIDS Toolkit: What Your Church Can Do, a CD/DVD resource to help you strengthen or establish an HIV/AIDS ministry. Learn more >>
Q: Is AIDS a punishment from God?
A: While some have expressed that view, we could not disagree more. AIDS is no more a punishment from God for sexual misbehavior than a hurricane is. This is a broken, fallen world we live in, and sadly, sickness and death are a part of our existence. If God began handing out sickness for moral failure, most of us would be dead by tomorrow. The Bible clearly states that “all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” We don’t come close to meeting his standards of purity and holiness and neither do you. AIDS will someday be eradicated off the face of the earth—maybe not until Jesus returns—but it will gone, and with it, all the suffering, torment, anguish and sickness it has brought will disappear as well. Many people have HIV because something terrible was done to them or by them. The role of the church is to love them no matter what.
This Q&A was reprinted from HIV/AIDS Toolkit: What Your Church Can Do, a CD/DVD resource to help you strengthen or establish an HIV/AIDS ministry. Learn more >>
Q: Does my church need an HIV policy?
A: The short answer is “no.” A specific HIV-related policy is not needed, as HIV is not transmitted through casual and ordinary contact – hugging, shaking hands, changing normal diapers, sharing toys, serving food, or washing dishes or utensils. However, it is recommended that gloves be available to workers in any situation where contact with blood is possible.
Encountering blood is unusual in the normal course of church events and child care. The general principle is this: If there’s blood, one should wear gloves and wash his or her hands with soap and water. If there is evidence of blood, gloves should be worn, and after removing the gloves, hands should be washed thoroughly. However, the important thing to remember is that this will prevent not only HIV but other blood-borne illnesses.
Many churches have advised their workers to wear gloves and wash hands when changing a soiled diaper, not because of HIV precautions (unless there is evidence of blood), but for the normal and usual practice of protection against other illnesses spread through urine and feces. Some churches have forgone the usual practice of changing diapers during the short period of a church service unless the diaper is obviously soiled - again not so much related to HIV, as to avoid risk of exposure to many diaper-related illnesses. Some churches require all workers to wear gloves and wash hands when caring for the diaper, just to avoid disease in general.
One way to reduce the stigma surrounding HIV is to educate your church members about how HIV is spread and how it isn’t. Don’t let fear keep you from ministering in Jesus’ name and in his ways.
Learn more: Developing HIV/AIDS policy statements >> | Protect yourself >>
Q: Why do we need to talk to youth about HIV?
- Because it is the greatest humanitarian health crisis of all time
- Because youth are at the greatest risk
- Because orphans and vulnerable children need youth to care
- Because people who are HIV positive need youth to care
- Because youth are a compassionate force to love and change the world
- Because what we don’t know about, we fear
- Because what we don’t know about, we can’t prevent
- Because what we don’t know about, we can’t care about
- Because what we don’t know about, we can’t change
- Because what we learn about can help us change the world
Q: Isn’t talking to youth about their personal risk of HIV just a way to coerce or use scare tactics toward abstinence?
A: Talking to youth about HIV is all about truth, empowerment, and their life. In a world where it is estimated that there are more than 40 million individuals infected and 5 million new infections every day, teenagers must know the truth. Reality can be scary and yet not coercive. In HIV, the truth is, the virus can kill.
Q: What do you think youth need to know about HIV?
- If the truth is that abstinence before marriage and lifelong mutual fidelity provides the most effective means of prevention, then that is what youth must know.
- If the truth is that if you choose to share needles while using drugs, you’re putting yourself at risk for HIV, then that is what youth must know.
- If the truth is that using a condom does not provide safe sex and cannot guarantee safer sex but that it only reduces risk for HIV, then that is what youth must know.
- If the truth is that many youth are victimized sexually and helpless against HIV, then it should enrage all youth and cause them to act to help stop these injustices. That’s a truth youth must know.
Q: What are some succinct messages about HIV that are valuable for youth?
- HIV is preventable. That is a message of hope that all youth must know.
- HIV is affecting the world. That is a message of compassion that all youth must respond to.
- HIV needs people to act so it will stop. That is a call to action for us all.
Q: At what age should I talk to my young children about HIV?
A: HIV is primarily about people, not sex. It’s all about age-appropriate learning and developmental readiness. Every child can learn something. Our children learned the term “HIV” long before they knew what it was. (They learned that about cancer, too.) They hear us praying for those with HIV and asking Jesus to help us help them.
We asked ourselves, “How old do we want our children to be before they learn that people get sick and Jesus cares for them? How old do we want our children to be before they learn that there are injustices at home and around the world and that some people are treated meanly just because they are sick?”
When we first teach compassion for those with HIV, we can later build on that to include prevention of HIV at the appropriate time.
Q: How can our church help our youth?
A: Include HIV in your theology of caring for the world. From a biblical worldview, talking about HIV is the natural outflow of a purpose driven life.
Teach about HIV sequentially. First, teach healthy sexuality from a biblical worldview. Teach the joy of their sexuality and the sexual relationships God designed for them: one man for one woman in marriage for life.
Make it a priority to care about people with HIV in your own country and around the world. Building on that truth, youth are ready to learn how to prevent it themselves.
Talk to youth about HIV. Talking to youth about HIV equips them to care about the bodies God has called us to use for his glory.
Use the resources on this site, both the articles and the audio downloads. Inform parents of youth and youth leaders about HIV so they will be equipped to engage in meaningful conversations with youth.
Q: What is HIV/AIDS and why are you giving it so much attention?
A: The short and very simplified explanation is that HIV is the virus that causes AIDS -- an incurable and, if left untreated, lethal disease which has been found on every continent in such large numbers that it is now the greatest pandemic of all time. For those that prefer a more technical definition, the National Institutes of Health offers:
Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV)
The virus that causes Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome (AIDS). HIV is in the retrovirus family, and two types have been identified: HIV-1 and HIV-2. HIV-1 is responsible for most HIV infections throughout the world, while HIV-2 is found primarily in West Africa.
Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome (AIDS)
A disease of the body's immune system caused by the human immunodeficiency virus (HIV). AIDS is characterized by the death of CD4 cells (an important part of the body's immune system), which leaves the body vulnerable to life-threatening conditions such as infections and cancers.
Recommended resources: HIV 101: There is No Such Thing as a Stupid Question
Q: By ministering to those with HIV, am I putting myself at risk?
A: HIV can spread only when the blood or body fluid of an infected person enters the bloodstream of another person through a cut, scrape, puncture, or mucous membrane. HIV is NOT spread through holding hands, hugging, light kissing, or other casual contact. Touching and reaching out to a person who is HIV+ is one of the most important and meaningful things a person can do. You are currently ministering to people with HIV/AIDS and don’t even know it. People in your church are HIV+. Continue to open your arms. Your only risk is that you would miss what the love of Christ compels us to do.
Recommended resources: HIV 101: There is No Such Thing as a Stupid Question; HIV 201: The Local Church Engaged in Prevention, Treatment, Care, & Support
Q: I’ve heard that the numbers of people with HIV/AIDS is inflated. Some say the problem isn’t as bad as they say. What do you think?
A: You’ve heard the statistics: 40.3 million people infected with HIV/AIDS; 6,000 new infections each day among those 15-24 years old; 3.1 million AIDS related deaths last year (UNAIDS). There is no viable evidence that these statistics are inflated. However, if they are wrong, the essential fact remains: Too many people are infected and affected globally by HIV/AIDS. The remaining question is: Exactly how many people need to suffer for me to care?
Recommended resources: How God Got our Attention, Conversations with People Living with HIV/AIDS
Q: Our church is late in caring for those with HIV/AIDS, but we intend to care now. Some people in our church are critical of the effort. They say that AIDS is no more important than malaria, church planting or other activities our church is involved in. How can I justify a focused effort on HIV?
A: HIV is far more pervasive than predicted even a decade ago. It has surpassed both malaria and TB as the number one infectious disease killer of adults worldwide. It is increasing globally and there is no cure. It affects the social, political, and economic development of countries and regions. More children are orphaned from AIDS than any other cause. Every church is affected worldwide. The church is called to do many things. Once you know the truth about the pandemic of AIDS, anyone who names the name of Jesus must care and act.
Recommended resources: A Prescription for the Church, Mobilizing the C.H.U.R.C.H, The Hope of the World, Teaching Youth about Sex and HIV
Q: New drugs have been developed to cure HIV/AIDS, right?
A: No, there is no cure for HIV/AIDS at this time. Medications, called Antiretrovirals (ARVs) have been developed that can interfere with the virus multiplying, decreasing the amount of virus and prolonging life. Other medications (such as antibiotics) can help fight infections associated with AIDS. However, the virus is not cured. While work is progressing toward a vaccine, no safe, effective vaccine is available at this time. Most of these drugs have not yet been widely distributed in resource-poor countries. HIV/AIDS is far from over.
Recommended resources: Rethinking AIDS Prevention, A Prescription for the Church
Q: Is HIV/AIDS a real problem anymore in the United States?
A: Yes, HIV/AIDS is a serious problem in the United States. Of the 1 million people infected in the United States, it is estimated that there were 40,000 new infections last year. Of those 40,000 new infections, half were among those 25 years old and younger. The prevalence among women is increasing at alarming rates. The numbers nationwide are going up, not down. HIV in the United States is a concern for every church.
Recommended resources: A Prescription for the Church; How God Got our Attention; HIV 101: There is No Such Thing as a Stupid Question; HIV 201: The Local Church Engaged in Prevention, Treatment, Care, & Support
Q: Isn’t HIV primarily spread through homosexual activity and IV drug abuse?
A: Although this was once true for the United States, heterosexual activity is now the fastest growing means of transmission worldwide. The more important question to consider is why this is important to me? Does one group more deserve our love, compassion, and message of hope?
Q: Should I be tested for HIV?
A HIV test is the only way to know if you have HIV. If there has been sexual contact with even one person who is HIV positive, if you are unsure of the fidelity of your partner, have used needles shared by others or received a blood transfusion in a country other than the US, being tested for HIV is very important. Even if you do not think you are at risk for being HIV positive, being tested is the only way to know for sure if you are positive or negative. Many states are offering the test to pregnant woman routinely as well. Churches are increasingly offering testing.
Recommended resources: HIV 301: Medical Advances on the Horizon, Let's Go: How to Start an HIV Ministry in Your Church & www.HIVtest.org
Q: Is there a difference betweem HIV & AIDS?
A: Yes, HIV is the virus that causes AIDS.
Q: My Church would like to offer testing. How do we get started?
A: Terrific! Testing is something every church can either encourage or offer, depending on their resources and state regulations. Testing regulations vary from state to state. Begin by encouraging a group of church members to explore what is available and needed in your area, including the regulations. Voluntary Testing and Counseling (VCT) requires that the right elements of privacy, confidentiality, training in counseling, testing procedures and reporting are meticulously followed. However, it is doable and a wonderful way to reach out and positively care. A church is a place of hope. What better place for testing?
Q: What is the most comforting thing I can say to someone who has HIV?
A: “Really, if I was really honest, the most comforting thing is when people don’t say anything. When they are just normal and treat me with comfort and kindness and respect and they just act normal.” John Forbes, founder, Agape Inc. International
About Elizabeth
Elizabeth Styffe, R.N., M.N., is the director of Saddleback Church's HIV/AIDS Initiative. She is an advocate and educator who believes one’s worldview influences their ability to care.
As a nurse, Styffe cared for her first patient with HIV in 1983, including the first pediatric patient in Orange County to be diagnosed with HIV/AIDS. She specialized in the areas of grief, loss, chronic illness, and computer technologies in patient care. Having earned a masters degree in nursing from UCLA, she has been a member of the nursing faculties of Cal State Fullerton, Azusa, and Biola Universities. She has authored articles in Nursing Administration Quarterly and Maternal Child Nursing and was contributing author to the book, Quality Assurance.
Styffe speaks passionately about the need for every follower of Jesus Christ to be present with those who suffer. In the last few years, her visits to Africa, Thailand, and Cambodia have fueled her compassion for those with HIV/AIDS.
Styffe and her husband, Glenn, have been married for 24 years and have four children ages 10-19.
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